Mental Workout

The Loving Kindness meditative exercise was quite different. I never imagined taking on anyone else's challenges, hurts, or troubles as part of a meditation. I guess I never really knew what to think it would be like. It was difficult to make it all the way through on the first attempt. I was a pretty long one. I think my biggest hurdle to overcome on this one was questioning how taking on someone else's burdens would not take on a life of its own by my acknowledging it. I was afraid that it would not completely dissolve away upon breathing it in to my heart.
I completed that portion of it anyway. I thought of two people. The one that you would consider a loved one is the oldest of my three brothers, whom has been on drugs and alcohol since our sister's death. He has even stolen from our parents and another brother and then pawned those belongings to support his drug habit. The most fearful thing for him is that he came into our home as a newborn foster child addicted to crack cocaine. His biological mother admitted to taking a gram of crack a day in an effort to end that pregnancy. It is known that drug addicted babies will automatically want something stronger because of that drug addiction in utero.
The second is a really good friend of mine who has been having health issues and there have been discussions of the need for a hysterectomy.
Having thought about it since then though it is like praying for them. You take it in acknowledge it and give it to the Lord. To me breathing it in and allowing it to dissolve upon arrival to the heart is much like what is done in prayer.
Mental workout is allowing the mind to relax, to stop overtaxing it with schedules, workloads, and daily or even long term stresses. It can be through meditation, yoga, to daily live out the Golden Rule as we were meant to by respecting and loving others, being kind and courteous. It can be in the ways we find enjoyment in our lives, whether it be our family or children, our professional lives, in ways we volunteer, or even in our physical exercise. When I walk the Noland Trail here in Newport News, VA it is a nature walk. I love sitting on the benches at a couple points to break for a few minutes. You are surrounded by trees and water. The trail is five miles long and it encircles a portion of the river. If exercise was not a main goal for me I could sit and relax all day, just staring out at the water.

Personal Well-Being

Yes, I am telling you that nothing helped the nerve pain at all before completing the relaxation exercise.

My levels of wellness are as follows:
Physically a 5. My muscles were really tight today. I did go for a walk twice within the past week. I continue to get massages on a weekly to bi-weekly basis, especially since my car accident at the end of January.

Psychologically, up and down. I have not been really stressed or anything. It is just that Easter is in about two and a half weeks and that is the day my sister died by suicide three years ago, April 12, 2009. Yes, the grief is more manageable. This is the time of year I want to cry more, sometimes just out of the blue. I have began making the origami cranes for the Out of the Darkness Walk to Prevent Suicide. That is very relaxing, almost meditative, and it provides a sense of purpose, a way of telling people it is okay to be depressed and seek help. In fact, it is better that you do. I hate that she is gone, but at least I can do something to bring awareness to depression and suicide to try to keep others alive.
She was 20 years old, a sophomore in college at the University of Maryland, College Park.
Suicide is the 2nd largest cause of death for college students, 3rd largest cause of death for the ages of 15-24, and it is steadily rising within the military, of which I work for the Navy. I am not active duty, but a contractor, and I come across those whom serve our nation everyday at work.
Spiritually, I pray, do devotions, and am active in my church. I have been working on Sunday's lately so it has been difficult to attend Sunday morning service, but I am active in other ways.

My goals and strategies are to include:
Exercising 2-3 times a week for optimal health,
Continue to get treated with massages and osteopathic manipulation,
Continue counseling sessions, support group meetings,
Find relaxation, peace, and enjoyment in the crane making for the walk
Begin using the meditation/relaxation exercises regularly,
Enhance my church attendance as able,
Start singing in the church choir again

Reflections of Me

Hi, my name is Janet Waltermire. I live in the beautiful state of Virginia with my husband and two daughters, ages 5 and 7. We have a Chocolate Lab, part Black and Tan Coonhound. He is lazy and well-loved. We live close to the Chesapeake Bay, but can be in the mountains within two hours. I am fascinated by both. I have always preferred the water, but the lure of the mountains pull at me especially when we are looking forward to seeing my in-laws, whom live in the mountains of Pennsylvania. Even though it gets much colder up there I would not mind living there. I believe it is an atmospheric thing, my in-laws being part of the treasured atmosphere there. I feel at home there, like it is the family I was really meant to have. This past week drives that feeling home. We went to Illinois for my sister's wedding. Her wedding was beautiful, but I felt like I did not belong there, like I was out of place. Times like that is when the realization hits me of how much I love my in-laws and strive to emulate them. Families like them are diamonds in the rough and therefore, are few and far between.
The relaxation exercise I do think helped with above stressors. I had a ton of unrelenting nerve pain today. Immediately upon hearing that I could get certain areas of the body to relax by telling it to do so, I told the area where the vast part of the nerve pain was coming from to relax while practicing deep breathing and found up to 85% relief instantaneously. I did not feel as relaxed as was stated in the exercise, but what matters most for now is the decreased amount of nerve pain.
I named my blog aiming 4 wellness because as you can clearly see I still have work to be done on me, and in me. I am working towards an inside/out healing, which as I stated in the discussion board is a lifelong process. I will never be perfect, but I can strive for the peacefulness, wholeness, and contentment that will carry me through the ups and downs of life.